Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
