Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize