my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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