her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
