your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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