Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
