So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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