He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
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I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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