just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
