11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
