Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
