That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
