what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have fence marks all over my body
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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