i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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