God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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