Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
