Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
