I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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