yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
