don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
