I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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