Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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