when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Two words: blizzard sex
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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