We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
