didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
