its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
