Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
