I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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