How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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