Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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