So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
