the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
