I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
