I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
