There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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