You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
