She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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