is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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