covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
