Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
