why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
