Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
