so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
how do flat chested girls get laid?
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official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
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College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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