he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
