she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
