I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I supernannyed him into submission
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
