My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
