is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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