I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
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Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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