i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
