apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize