I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
