hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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