My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
