i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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