so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
