Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
