Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
