you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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