i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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