Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
