I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
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He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
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Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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