I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize