You're so nebulous sometimes
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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