All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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