How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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