dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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