he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Edward fifth and chaser hands
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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