Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
