I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize