I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just gift wrapped bread.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
