when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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